Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
