The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
