It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
