zippers are such a cool invention
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
