That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
