Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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