ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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