Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
