she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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