she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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