As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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