Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My pussy is not your playground.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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