is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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