so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
