I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
