My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
