im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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