Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
