I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm bleeding and have questions
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
