There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
