Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
