i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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