I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
