Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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