Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
