Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
