Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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