oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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