I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
