I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
