Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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