i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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