im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
