he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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