I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
