Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm drive I can fine osifer
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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