you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
