My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
