I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
