I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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