If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
