Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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