home. puking in laundry basket.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I understand Curling. That high.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
