She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
