Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
