Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
