My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
