Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
