oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
