WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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