Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
