There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
