Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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