just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
