Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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