how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
