ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
