and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
