I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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